so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
