On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
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