Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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