i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
