Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
