there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just want to make out with him forever
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
