I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
