i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
