How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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