Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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