i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
