I want to walk on stilts...naked
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
