I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
