you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize