Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize