He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
