HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
His nipple licking is glorious
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