So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
