JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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