I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize