There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The adults are the big ones right?
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