So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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