It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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