i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I'm really busy with my period
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