Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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