They should really pass out barf bags in church
well most of my day revolves around power hour
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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