I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
