Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
