You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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