I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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