how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
