What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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