There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
