he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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