Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
