Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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