the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You have to summon your inner elephant
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
