Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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