How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
