therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I can't turn off my feet"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
