she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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