So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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