dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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