The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
