Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
