Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
