A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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