I wish I only lived at night.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
