So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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