absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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