I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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