if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
