If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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