Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
