OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
