apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
