Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
