3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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