I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
