How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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