Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
