I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
