You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize