You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
