I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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