Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize