Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
it's like iHOP with fire
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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