Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize