Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
