Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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