well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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