so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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