My hand turned me down
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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