I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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