You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
