I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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