Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
