If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
