You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
