My Higher Power is John Stamos
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
