You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
it's like heaven, but drunker
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
